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The trap in being right.

 Hey you, Have you always thought something is true about something or about yourself? You could swear that you were 100% right about what you were saying. It felt like the truth in your heart. Years after years or whatever figment of time passed by, then you came to a realization that your truth and your right were indeed not entirely true? Here comes the horrible, stomach aching feeling of guilt. I mean, how can you even fathom this catastrophic, world-ending discovery that you were wrong? After so many years of believing? I mean, you had receipts to back up your claim. Now, this? Then the harder pill to swallow, SHAME .  How can you admit to yourself that you were wrong all this while? How can you admit to yourself that you were foolish to have believed such ridiculousness to be the truth? You followed your heart and your heart led you straight into the trashcan.  Your heart has betrayed you. Your heart is a traitor. These entire thoughts fill your mind as you try to p...
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Dear God

Hey you, The how are you? How has this week been? Mine has been a roller-coaster  of emotions. I got so mad at God this week and I threw a huge tantrum at God. i even wrote him a letter. I thought i should share it with you.   Dear Abba, I am tired. Tired of trying. Tired of trying to be. I’ll just want to give up and give in. It’s fucking hard trying to fight the darkness. I know you said I am light, and I honestly try to believe that, but the struggle to be who you said I am, is real.  It’s much easier being this person I am now than the person I envision myself to be. It’s something my fellow Christians will call darkness, but somehow I feel safe in it. It’s not like I feel comfortable around them anyways; they look at me funny and make some negative remarks about me under their breath. But these other people, they don’t look at me funny. Most of them don’t judge me. Do you know they enjoy my fucked up jokes? They understand me when I talk about m...
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The beauty in vulnerability.

Hey you, I have been thinking recently about the whole idea of vulnerability. To be sincere, I find it a bit scary. I mean, letting someone see the side of you that is not pretty, brave, confident, and positive. You know what is scarier?   Being vulnerable with the wrong person. Vulnerability might be scary, but it is refreshing and peaceful to completely, genuinely, and thoughtlessly fall apart and let your guards and walls down around a particular someone or people. I see the beauty in letting someone know you and deliberately show someone who you really are. You might nurse the fear of losing this someone if he/she does not like what he/she sees still you let your guards down.   You are just grateful for the opportunity to be free, even at the risk of facing judgment from another person. It is BLISSFUL !!! The truth is, most of us grow up and grow old without ever experiencing the bliss of letting our walls down for just a second. We live our lives longi...
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Introducing PLinus

  Hey you , I do not know what the correct or perfect way to introduce myself in my own blog should be. I've never done this before. I should also warn that I do not know a lot of things.  The only thing I know is how I see things and how I do things. That is what I will be doing here. I will be doing just me.  There will be some things I say here that I know that I will look at years from now, and my perspective of such things will have changed.    Yep, that's how my life is. I LEARN to unlearn some things. Whew, the journey to this point has been an interesting one. Like I look at myself, and I'm like, Precious is this you? Recently, I have had to reflect on my life, but most times, it's like I get to see things from the eyes of a third party.  They come with different emotions. Sometimes I LAUGH cheerfully at some incidents, mostly my childhood; I laugh a lot when I remember some of the silly things I did growing up with my sisters. Ah...
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